


With Eyes Closed (Heartstrings Pull Me Back To You)

by targaryen_melodrama



Series: Now That You Keep Me Warm [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Bisexual Sam Wilson, Developing Relationship, M/M, POV Sam Wilson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 19:04:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16225382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/targaryen_melodrama/pseuds/targaryen_melodrama
Summary: “How was your day?”They’ve been talking everyday Sam has been in DC and Sam will never be over how casually Bucky says that, like he can’t hear just how...relationship-y that sounds. Or worse, like he hears it, but doesn’t care.ーAbout first dates, anxiety and expectations.





	With Eyes Closed (Heartstrings Pull Me Back To You)

**Author's Note:**

> Ok first and foremost thank you to lunaaltare and sara60691 for encouraging me to write more of this. An extra special thank you to sara60691 for the first date idea. If you read this, I hope you like it!
> 
> All three fics in this series could be read on their own. If you want to read them in chronological order, it would be Part 1, Part 3 (this fic), then Part 2. But honestly you can read them in the order they were posted, it doesn't change anything. 
> 
> Last but most certainly not least, thank you to my fave beta. Your comments (even when you think they're useless!) are so helpful. Even the ones that are TMI (Chill, friend).

“Off to talk to your ‘friend’ again?”

Sam can hear the air quotes though his mom is still in the kitchen and he’s halfway up the stairs.

“I’mーit’sー”

“You don’t have to tell me, but don’t lie to me baby.”

That stops Sam dead in his tracks, though his phone is on its fifth ring and will probably go to voicemail soon. “Sorry momー”

“Go on before you miss that call.” Sam knows her hands are making a shooing motion. “Your beau won’t be waiting forever.”

“My _beau_? Mom!”

“Go!”

Sam sprints up the stairs, slows down when he crosses his sister’s room so she doesn’t come out and ask what the rush is about.

He picks up the pace once he’s close to his room, kicks the door shut, jumps face first on his bed while thumbing his phone to accept to call and finally,  _finally_ he breathes out a winded, “Hey!” to Bucky.

“Aww, did you run to the phone?” Sam is so glad they’re not on FaceTime so he doesn’t have to hide how happy he is to hear Bucky’s voice.

“No. Yes.”

Even over the phone, Sam can hear Bucky’s amused huff. “You didn’t have to do thatー”

Sam’s stomach sinks. “Oh, I’mー”

“ーbut I really appreciate it.” Even as relief floods through him, Sam stays quiet. He’s not quite sure how to answer that. “How was your day?”

They’ve been talking everyday Sam has been in DC and Sam will never be over how casually Bucky says that, like he can’t hear just how... _relationship_ -y that sounds. Or worse, like he hears it, but doesn’t care.

“I’m so ready to go home,” Sam sighs. This was supposed to be a 3-day weekend, but some of his classes had been cancelled and he decided to head home two days early. That might’ve been a mistake. “I mean I’m glad I saw my family, but…”

“You can say you miss me, Wilson.”

“And if that’s what I wanted to say I would’ve said it.”

“I walked right into that one, didn’t I?” Sam hears the smile in Bucky’s voice.

“Yeah, you did.” Sam soundsーand feelsーmore fond than he’d like. “What d’you do today?”

“Netflix, mostly.”

“That Neil deGrass Tyson show again? Are you gonna try to explain the Milky Way thing to me?”

“Don’t knock space ‘cause you don’t understand it, Wilson. And no,” Bucky sighs, “I’m not giving you that explanation again. I’ve given up on that. But I _do_ have an idea for our date now.”

“Oh?” Sam hopes he doesn’t sound as terrified as he feels. As much as he’s ready to leave his family and head back home, being apart from Buckyーthough Sam’s missed himーhas been good. It gave Sam time to clear his head, for everything to sink in.

It’s been a little over a week since Sam found out Bucky ( _miraculously_ ) felt the same way he didーa week since they’d made out in that poolーand they’d been taking things pretty easy. Not much changed between them except that they hung out just the two of them, which had been rare before then, and that they kissed now. (That’s probably Sam’s favorite part. The kissing is good. Really good.)

Sam has been living in that _everything’s changed but not really_ bubble, and it’s been perfect. But with an actual date? Things would  _definitely_ change, and Sam doesn’t know if they’ll change for the better or for the worse.

For one thing, Bucky had a lot more dating experience, so he’d definitely have...needs. Expectations.

Would they hold hands? How did Bucky feel about PDA in general? Did Bucky expect... _things_ after their date? After their  _third_ date?

“...when the triceratops attacked Mars.”

Wait. “What? Fuck are you on, Barnes?”

“Thought I’d lost you there for a while.”

Jesus, had he been out of it for that long? “Iーyou did. I’m sorry.”

“You’re fine, don’t worry sーSam. I should probably let you go to bed, though.”

Sam looks down at his phone and realizes it _is_ quite late. “Yeah, that might be a good idea. I’m guessing you’re going back to aliens and time travel?”

“Yeah, so you can go back to dreaming about pigeons and dodos.”

“I should’ve never told you about that,” Sam sighs, briefly remembering that night when he’d drunkenly told Bucky about his bird passion when he was a kid.

Bucky laughs. “You really shouldn’t have.” He’s quiet for a moment, then lets out a happy sigh that fills Sam’s heart. “Night, bird boy.”

“Night, space nerd. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Talk to you soon.”

As he ends the call, Sam turns over on his back and stares at his ceiling. He hopesーhe _really_ hopesーthat their date can be as easy as their phone calls, but he highly doubts it. Deep down, Sam knows he shouldn’t let his bullshit take him over like this. He just doesn’t know how to stop it.

If he could, he would.

*

Sam sees Bucky approaching and quickly puts his phone away. Since he was a little early, he had asked Natasha to distract him and she’d been providing a steady stream of cat videos and memes for the fifteen minutes Sam had been waiting, leaning on a building close to the subway exit.

He’d been pretty calm, especially considering that the date is a surprise and that Sam has no idea where they’re going. The closer Bucky gets, though, the more Sam gets nervous. Bucky’s wearing one of Sam’s favorite outfitsーa jean jacket with a blue-grey sweater that fits him perfectly with tan docsーand he looks good. Really good.

“Hey!” Bucky greets him warmly, and Sam can’t help but return his smile. They hug brieflyーJesus, he even _smells_ goodーbefore they start walking to their destination. “Did you wait long?”

“No, you’re fine. I was watching cat videos.”

“Isn’t that what you did the entire time you were home?”

Sam raises an eyebrow. “Is that judgment I’m hearing? From the guy who spent his entire break on Netflix?”

“I was on Netflix learning about science. Stars’ history and stuff.”

“ ‘Stars’ history and stuff’. Coming from the guy who’s studying literal rocket science.”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Me studying rocket science doesn’t mean I know everything there is to know about space. Actually…”

“Actually?”

“It’s why I like astronomy so much. I find it really fucking interesting,” Bucky explains with a little smile, his eyes lighting up, “and it’s far enough from what I do in school that I can actually enjoy learning about it without being stressed.”

“So astronomy is not that related to aerospace engineering?”

“No, not really. Which is why I chose not study astronomy. I could have a chance to impact actual space travel in a concrete way with what I’m doing now.”

“But you still like astronomy.”

“But I still like astronomy. Speaking of which,” Bucky says, waving an arm towards...a park?

Sam hadn’t even noticed they’d made it. He looks to where Bucky is pointing andー

“Is thisーAre weー” There are park rangers walking around rows of telescopes and handing binoculars to the few people that are already there.

“Yeah. It’sーwe’re watching a meteor shower.” He looks down for a second, his smile turning a little shy, before he looks back up to Sam. “I know space is more my thing. But you like it tooーand I thoughtーI thought this could be _our_ thing, you know. At least for now. And this is lowkey enoughーwe can leave whenever, but we don’t get to see meteor showers often and soon we won’t have the time to do stuff like this, andー” Bucky stops, cheeks completely flushed. “I thought it would be good. For you. For us.”

It’s the _for us_ that does it. Sam has a thousand things he could sayーhow romantic this whole thing is, how he _does_ like space and never has the time to really do anything about it, and how somehow Bucky knew that being able to leave whenever, being able to  _tap out_ , is so important to him, but there’s this one thing at the forefront of his mind.

“Bucky?”

“Yeah?”

“Iーthis isー” Sam clears his throat and gathers his courage. “I really wanna kiss you right now. Can I?”

Bucky’s smile is dazzling as he nods and steps closer to Sam. Sam doesn’t even have a second to be nervous, or to regret his decision, before Bucky steps in and kisses him.

It feels like a first kiss though it certainly isn’t. But Bucky’s lips are softー _Bucky_ is softーone hand cupping Sam’s face, one arm wrapping around Sam’s backーand Sam feels good. He feels safe.

And when they separate and Sam sees the look in Bucky’s eyes, he wonders why he was even worried in the first place.

*

“So, Sam. I had a great time tonight.”

Bucky’s voice echoes slightly in the empty lobby. They’ve finally made it back to Sam’s, after getting off the train early to walk a little more and a detour at Starbucks for hot chocolate, holding hands the entire time.

Sam knows the huge smile on his face ruins the effect of his eye roll, but he does it anyway. “So, Barnes. Going with the most cliché sentence in the universe.”

Bucky laughs. “I’m just following the script. If I do this right, I might get a kiss good night. I want a kiss good night.”

The thing is, Bucky clearly doesn’t need a script. Sam had been nervous from the moment they’d started talking about a date, and if someone had told Sam that he’d actually be the one to initiate their first kiss of the night, or that him and Bucky would hold hands both during their date and on their way home, Sam would say they were out of their mind.

But everything had been... _good_. So good. He’d enjoyed watching the meteor shower and listening to the park rangers’ explanations about what caused them, Bucky being his steady, charming, annoying self by his side. Bucky doesn’t clearly doesn’t need to do much to endear himself to Sam, and one day Sam might even be able to tell him as much.

For now, though, he’ll stick to what they know.

“Why don’t you just ask for your kiss and see where that gets you?”

Bucky steps closer to Sam, eyes shining like they were earlier. Sam can rag about clichés all he wants, but his stomach is filled with butterflies. There’s no other way to describe it.

“Sam. I had a great time tonight. Can I kiss you goodnight?”

“Bucky. I had a great time, too. You can definitely kiss me goodnight.”

  
  
**End**.

**Author's Note:**

> So many things: 
> 
> If you live in New York City, that meteor shower is an [actual event](https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2018/10/14/astronomy-orionids-meteor-shower) that's taking place in a week (October 14th), for free. Go!!! (If you can, of course).
> 
> Shout out to Wikipedia and those two forums for that info about astronomy and aerospace engineering.
> 
> Title of this fic is from Echoes, by Eliza Hull (sad I broke my Banks title combo, but my girl doesn't have that many love songs to title fics after). 
> 
> I very much enjoy comments, feel free to leave some!
> 
> Lastly, I am on [Tumblr](https://targaryenmelodrama.tumblr.com) if you wanna drop by!


End file.
